See: "
A Tale of Two Fathers: More Are Active, but More Are Absent."
If readers can remember back to 2008, one of things I'd hoped about Barack Obama, if he were elected, is that he'd help restore stable family values to the black community. He has not. While President Obama is a model family man, he's rarely spoken out in any direct, sustained way that would bring his moral authority to bear on the cultural pathologies of the race. He needs to be out speaking like
this, often, and sincerely, like Father's Day comes more than once a year.
According to Pew, "...
more than one-in-four fathers with children 18 or younger now live apart from their children ..."
And especially:
Fathers’ living arrangements are strongly correlated with race, ethnicity and socioeconomic status as measured by educational attainment. Black fathers are more than twice as likely as white fathers to live apart from their children (44% vs. 21%), while Hispanic fathers fall in the middle (35%). Among fathers who never completed high school, 40% live apart from their children. This compares with only 7% of fathers who graduated from college.
This is not to dismiss other ethnic groupings, for example, the Hispanic population, but I once taught Black Politics, and I continue to see the poorest academic and social performance of young black men than any other other demographic. I used to be sympathetic, if not a little sad about it. Now I just get mad, and if I can, I'll get in your face if you're not performing up to standards. Of course, I'm only a professor, so my role is limited, but if I can model some achievement or direction, that will count for a bit. It's not just a problem on television or in the movies. I see it up close. I personally grieve. Perhaps I can do more later, when I have some changes in my own family. Time. Time to give back.
Now, closer to home, I'm not teaching this summer, and so I'll have the next two months to spend with my family, for some quality time and recreation. No big trips are planned. My youngest son will be the challenge while school's out, though. He needs to be active and needs a lot of direction. Just last week I was taking him skateboarding two times a day, but we'll need to read and study as well. My older son is going on 10th grade and he's very independent. He's got a young lady friend (kinda girlfriend) who he spends most of his time with, and he doesn't like me tagging along too much. But I need to get on him to do more chores around the house, and hopefully I can get him to do some reading instead of downloading music all the time.
At
the Pew study it notes that 63 percent of dad's today say that being a father is harder now than it was a generation ago. And, "
Only about one-in-four adults say fathers today are doing a better job as parents than their own fathers did." Yeah. Okay. But what's the measurement? If it's economically, things have been pretty spotty these last few years, and we'd have to go back two or three generations to find a time when there was less economic dynamism (and dislocation). But culturally, the dads of today are way more hands-on than when I was a kid, and that's good. My dad was perhaps more involved than some other fathers in my neighborhood growing up, but he was just as emotionally distant as any I can think of. I never wanted to be a father like that, and thank goodness. Sure, there's more we can do, as men and fathers, and no one measures up perfectly to their own expectations and those of their children. But keeping it all together is the primary responsibility, and giving equal support to the spouse so everyone can grow and be happy. In that way men have a greater responsibility as parents than in earlier generations. I think when we have a booming economy again, some of the load will ease, and successful fatherhood might increase (increased togetherness, less family breakdown).
Anyway, at top, I'm taking a break from cleaning house yesterday morning. We have a realtor. He showed the house at 10:00am and my wife and I were both up detailing everything. My youngest boy slept until about 9:00am, and my oldest is out of town until later today. I might shave. I've just been chillin' since school got out at the end of May.
More later.
Have a good Father's Day everyone.
